Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Pest Control

New York City, Manhattan Borough
September 2, 2245

Two police detectives were escorted by two members of Freyan Marine security detail wearing combat gear past the protestors in front of the Freyan Consulate.  The protestors were from The Fremantle Baptist Church.  Many of the protestors held professionally made signs that proclaimed that “God Hates Freyans.”

“The Consul will see you gentlemen right away.”  Proclaimed a Freyan diplomat as the two detectives waited in front of the Consul’s office.  

The police detectives were promptly led into the Consul’s office.

The Consul’s office was paneled in maple wood.  The Freyan Consul, Jennifer March, a woman in her mid-thirties stood up behind her desk as the detectives entered the office.

“Please take a seat.”  The Consul said to the detectives.

The two detectives took their seats before the Consul’s desk.

“So why are you here?”  The Consul asked the detectives.

“We’re here to investigate the murder of Reverend Wayne Martin, ma’am?”  Replied Detective Greeley, the senior of the police detectives.  

“You don’t have to answer our questions, ma’am.”  Said Detective Logan.

Detective Greeley looked at Detective Logan in a foul manner for a moment.

“I want to answer questions.”  Replied the Consul. “Diplomacy runs in our family.  I was the oldest daughter of James and Beth March.”

“Yes, ma’am.”  Replied Detective Greeley.

“So Martin came down with a lethal case of Sudden Lead Poisoning?”  Asked the Consul.

“Yes, ma’am.”  Replied Detective Greeley.  “We’re investigating the murder of Reverend Martin.”

“Nuking the Fremantle Baptist Church while the congregation present would have been bad form.”  Answered the Consul.

“Yes, ma’am.”  Responded Detective Greeley.

“Calling Martin a moron is an insult to morons.”  The Consul said to the detectives.

“Yes, ma’am.”  Responded Detective Greeley.

“Negative actions have negative consequences.”  The Consul said to the detectives.

“Yes, ma’am.”  Responded Detective Greeley.

“Some people believe they’ve exempt from consequences.”  The Consul said to the detectives.

“But Reality is real, those same people believe that the facts of Reality don’t apply to them.”

The Consul continued to lecture.

“Have you ever heard of the Center for Eternal Truth?”  She asked the detectives.

“No ma’am.”  Replied Detective Greeley.

The Consul continued to speak.

“They believed that the facts of Reality and laws of Man didn’t apply to them.  The false prophet Robert Lee Herald sent out someone to murder Evelyn Stone.  Stone was wounded and one of his friends was murdered.  Stone responded by personally airing out Herald’s head, he had no choice in the matter.  We have no choice but to send out a Pest Control Team to air out Martin.  One attribute of the perpetrators of every horror have one thing in common, they believe they’re the good guys.  Martin and his followers believed they’re the good guys.  Early in the Twenty First Century some scholars believed that Jesus Christ didn’t exist.  But what was really shocking was that some scholars put forth the idea that Christianity was created by the rulers of Roman Empire as a political control mechanism.”

“How do you know this, ma’am?”  Asked Detective Greeley.

“I majored in history in college, sir.”  Replied the Consul.

“Where’s the Pest Control Team now, ma’am?”  Asked Detective Greeley.

“They’re outside of your jurisdiction,” replied the Consul, “they should be in Hyperspace by now.”

“The facts of Reality require us to act in your jurisdiction.”  Said the Consul.

With the interview over the two police detectives were escorted by two members of Freyan Marine security detail past the protestors in front of the Freyan Consulate.

Once the electric motors of the police car started humming Detective Greeley had a question for Detective Logan.

“What problem does the Fremantle congregation have with the Freyans?”

Detective Logan answered.

“The Freyans are a bunch of atheists.  There are no churches on Freya, not even storefronts.  The Freyans even have a national holiday to celebrate the birthday of Ayn Rand.”

“What about Madalyn Murray O'Hair?”  Detective Greeley asked.
“The Freyans hate her.”  Detective Logan answered.
“The Freyan suitcase nukes are rated at five kilotons,” Detective Logan also said, “which was one third of the yield of the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, and one quarter of the yield of the bomb dropped on Nagasaki.”

“Is that so?”  Replied Detective Greeley.
“Yes.”  Said Detective Logan.
“The Freyans even hanged a bishop.”  Said Detective Logan.
In the Borough of Brooklyn another Freyan Pest Control Team was leaving their safe house.  Each member of the team was armed with a sterilized 9mm ACRS.  The team’s destination was the Fremantle Baptist Church, their mission was to lethally interrupt the meeting that was being held at the church.

In the city of Omaha the Freyan Ambassador, Nathan Stone, was having a meeting with the Federation President.  The Freyans were tired of being harassed by members of the Fremantle Baptist Church.

“Clean up the mess,” said Ambassador Stone, “or we’ll clean it up for you.”

Detectives Greeley and Logan were called to the site of the Fremantle Baptist Church.  One of the New York Police officers guarding the site spoke to Detectives Greeley and Logan.

“There’s been a massacre here.”  She said.

Detectives Greeley and Logan stepped down to the basement of the church.  There were a group of bullet riddled bodies seated around a table.

“It looks they were here for a meeting” Said Detective Logan.

“They met.”  Replied Detective Greeley.

A team from the New York Medical Examiners Office came to the site of the massacre.  The team leader spoke.    

“It couldn’t happen to a better bunch.”  She said.

“Right’” Replied both Detectives Greeley and Logan.

Another playing card was found at the site of the massacre.  The suite was the King of Spades.  A playing card was found at the site of the death of Reverend Martin.  The suite was the Ace of Spades.

In a transparent evidence bag Detective Greeley showed the back of the playing card to Detective Logan.

“What does this mean?”  Detective Greeley asked Detective Logan.

Detective Logan looked at the playing card in the evidence bag.  Detective Logan answered.

“It’s a Death Card, with the Cross of Saint Andrew in white over a field of black, the symbol of the Central Security Agency of the Ursa Major Confederation.”  Replied Detective Logan.

“The Central Security Agency of the Freyan’s is institutionally taking responsibility while individuals who performed the act have fled the scene?”  Asked Detective Greeley.

“That appears to be the case,” replied Detective Logan, “it looks like they left their weapons.”

Detective Logan picked up a sterilized 9mm ACRS.  The 9mm ACR was issued to the armed forces of the Ursa Major Confederation.  The special operation forces of the Ursa Major Confederation used the 9mm ACRS, the short version of the service weapon.

Detective Greeley spoke to Captain Reynolds, the chief of detectives at the 27th Precinct.

“I really don’t believe that we’ll close this case.”

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