A friend recently suggested that I stand for the office of President of the United States. After giving the concept some thought I have decided to do so.
My fundamental goal as President will be to restore complete compliance of the Federal Government to the Constitution and the complete sovereignty of our nation with respect to the transnational order.
And I fully look forward to interaction with the Fourth Estate:
Reporter: Mr. Bates, how do you as a Christian Conservative justify your opposition to Social Justice?
Candidate LB: Good question. Have you thought of asking an actual Christian Conservative?
Reporter: What?
Candidate LB: I stopped believing in the Western Monotheist Tradition over four decades ago. I have made no secret of my disbelief since that time. Even when I enlisted in the United States Army during the administration of President Ronald Reagan.
In light of this answer the reporter would have to engage in actual thought in order to respond.
Regardless of the outcome I fully expect to have fun.
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