No license? No pop stand, St. Paul tells 2 youngsters
Kevin Duchschere, Star Tribune
Published August 29, 2003 POPS29

Mikaela Ziegler, 7, and her 4-year-old sister, Annika, were selling refreshments Wednesday afternoon near the State Fairgrounds when a woman approached them. But she wasn't there to buy.

"She said, 'You can't sell pop unless you have a license,' " Mikaela said.

That's how it came to be that an inspector with St. Paul's Office of License, Inspections and Environmental Protection shut down Mikaela and Annika's pop stand.

Their outraged father, Dr. Richard Ziegler, called City Hall for an explanation. He was told that St. Paul is cracking down on unauthorized merchants and that his daughters would be free to hawk their beverages once they obtained a $60 license.

"Is there anything sacred anymore?" he asked Thursday. "We're not running a business here. This is fun and games for kids. I think [Mikaela's] netted, after paying me, a whole $13.

But Licensing Director Janeen Rosas said Mikaela was violating St. Paul Legislative Code Chapter 331A.04(d)(24), which requires a license for "A temporary establishment where food sales shall be restricted to prepackaged nonpotentially hazardous foods or canned or bottled nonalcoholic beverages; operating no more than fourteen (14) days annually at any one location."

Rosas said the city has received more complaints than ever this year about sellers at the fair, although she said no one had registered a gripe about the enterprising Ziegler sisters.

"If someone were to get ill from one of these products, with a license we're more able to track them back," she said. "And at the fair it's an equity issue. Allowing some people to sell without licenses gives them an unfair advantage over others."

In fact, any lemonade stand in St. Paul must be licensed to operate, Rosas said. Not that the licensing department is out randomly patrolling for juvenile scofflaws.

"But if we get a complaint, an inspector would go out and respond to that kind of call," she said.

In June, police in Naples, Fla., responded to a neighbor's complaint by closing the lemonade stand of a 6-year-old girl who didn't have a permit. After fielding indignant phone calls from around the country, embarrassed city officials waived the $35 permit fee and allowed her to reopen. The story won national attention.

Before she was shut down at her stand on Como Av. a block or two from the fairgrounds, Mikaela had been in business for four days, offering passersby an assortment of packaged lemonade, orange juice, water and pop. What the city did made her sad. And mad.

"I don't think that was right," she said, "Cause you should be able to just sell stuff without having something that you don't know you're supposed to be having."

Kevin Duchschere is at kduchschere@startribune.com.

Think of it as socialism in action.

A Rising Problem

Chinese Imperialism

In 2000, China increased its defense spending to 13 percent of its gross domestic product, followed by another augmentation to 17 percent in 2001. One analyst observed that recent purchases by Chinese generals tend to “emphasize power-projection forces” to apply military power “at a distance.” Though the actual reasons are decreed as protective measures by the Chinese government, some correlation can be drawn to recent maneuvers, such as its claim of 80 percent of the South China Sea, which is against international law, and by its direct colonialism over the Paracel and Spratly Islands, also in possession of Brunei, Malaysia, the Philippines, Taiwan and Vietnam. A former Philippines defense minister called this a “creeping invasion” when asked to comment on its possible ramifications. China has also laid claim to the Philippines’ Mischief Reef and has established military installations on four other disputed reefs; moreover, has been a notable increase in Chinese naval traffic around the Philippines’ territories that makes many countries “uneasy that China may want to resume the imperial status it had in earlier centuries,” according former Singapore Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew.
Furthermore, the Japanese government has reported that Chinese military vessels sail into Japanese waters approximately 20 times per year. This has prompted the Japanese Defense Ministry to begin a massive project for mapping its coastal seafloor to observe China’s growing fleet of submarines. This is not to mention that Japan moves 70 percent of its crude oil and fishing through the South China Sea, of which China has called for the “immediate eviction of foreign military vessels or vessels owned by foreign governments and used for noncommercial purposes that violate the laws and regulations” of China.

My comments:

1. The United States should recognize the fact that peace has never been brought about or extended through any arms control process. The United States should repediate all treaties that limit Nuclear and Conventional forces and amend the Constitution to prohibit such agreements in the future.

2. The United States should arrest, prosecute, and where possible execute all persons responsible for the transfer of military technology to the PRC. This includes BOTH Clintons.

3. The United States should outlaw trade with the PRC and all other totalitarian socialist states.

4. The United States should be prepared to militarily crush the PRC at if necesssary erase it from the face of the Earth.

Zhong Guo Delenda Est!

I'm open to further suggestions at lesbates_traveller@yahoo.com

And Then the Guru Said...

From Jeff Cooper's Commentaries, September 2003

"Tolerance, like moderation, is a virtue best observed in moderation." (In essence, tolerance means that you don't really give a damn.)

Reports from the front indicate that the Arabs cut down all their power lines in order to steal the copper, and then complain bitterly that power is out. Nation building, indeed, has its problems.

We hear curious accounts from the front concerning the disarming of our own troops. Some people in authority seem to have got the idea that we must not let our people appear hostile to the local Arabs. This has caught on more with the Army than with the Marines. We hear from a couple of sources that the locals have discovered that while they may shoot safely at American soldiers, it is very dangerous to shoot at American Marines, who are inclined to shoot back, and they cannot tell the uniforms apart.

On the other side of the world, it has just been made possible in Alaska for the private citizen to go armed without a license. Alaska and the state of Vermont are today sparkling bastions of liberty remaining in the world. God Bless America - regardless of what they say in Alabama!

Robbing The Teachers In Florida

Michelle Malkin at Townhall.com writes:

Three months ago, this column wondered if the New York Times would ever cover the abominable Democrat teachers' union scandal in Florida. Investigators from the FBI and Miami-Dade's Public Corruption Task Force raided the powerful United Teachers of Dade headquarters at the end of April. In July, they raided the Tallahassee home of union President Pat Tornillo.

This week, Tornillo -- the Ken Lay of the Left -- finally confessed to massive looting of teachers' union dues.

Here, in its 69-word entirety, is what the nation's paper of selective record found fit to print on Aug. 26: "Pat Tornillo, the longtime leader of the Miami-Dade County teachers union who had been accused of billing the union for $650,000 of luxuries, pleaded guilty to filing a false tax return and mail fraud in exchange for a two-year prison sentence. Court records showed he billed the union for four Caribbean vacations, several cruises, a trip to the 2000 Olympics in Sydney and other first-class travel expenses."

The Times' news brief, recycled from an Associated Press dispatch, was buried on page A16.

And here are some of the juicy details:

When he wasn't bullying union members into sending students home with notes endorsing Democrat candidates and causes, Tornillo oversaw a disastrous spending binge on real estate and used the union's political and economic clout to secure lucrative construction and insurance contracts for cronies. Miami Herald reporters unearthed records showing "how Tornillo lived the life of royalty on the union's dime, expensing everything from round-the-world vacations, $20,000 hotel bills and antique furniture. The union also paid for his phone, cable and power bills, his housekeeper and his home insurance."

While teachers pleaded for pay increases and fought layoff measures, Tornillo used their union dues (at $843 per year, they're the highest in the nation) to buy tailored suits from Hong Kong and python-print pajamas from Neiman-Marcus. The Herald also reported that after Tornillo returned in 1995 from an extravagant African safari junket with executives of a troubled health maintenance organization, Health Insurance Plan of Greater New York, he awarded the company a $195 million insurance contract against the recommendation of union staff.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Separation of Education and State.

2. Ban public employee unions.

3. Ban public employee participation in elections and other political activities.

My Horoscope According To The Onion

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)

The movement of planets in your sign foretells amazing romantic events this week. The stars, however, just pour out endless amounts of electromagnetic radiation.

Uh, okay...

And Here's To You, Demi Moore ...

By BRAD SMITH bsmith@tampatrib.com
Published: Aug 26, 2003

TAMPA - Opening an e-mail at work one day, Melissa Schrader was startled by a colleague's invitation.
Would she be interested in a date?

Schrader considered it for a second, then decided no. For one thing, her admirer was a 25-year-old man. Schrader, a Tampa account manager, is single but 36.

``I thought he was too young and he showed his immaturity,'' she said.

Still, dating demographics have made such potential romances less taboo than once thought. Plenty of today's younger men appear interested in today's older women. That's personified by the high- profile Hollywood affair between 40-year-old actress Demi Moore and 25-year-old actor Ashton Kutcher.

This would imply that my ideal mate would be in her fifties.

What Has This Person Been Smoking?

IMDb user comments for
Manos, the Hands of Fate (1966)

Page 5 of 23

The 14th Warrior
Atlanta, GA

Date: 13 August 2003
Summary: One of the finest examples of great auteur filmmaking

Equaled in clarity of vision and flawless execution only by the greater works of Orson Welles and Alfred Hitchcock, brilliant independent film auteur Hal Warren's ‘Manos: The Hands of Fate' transcends its genre to do everything that it should and even more. Not only is it riveting edge of your seat entertainment, it also boasts a psychological depth unequaled by any other horror movie, achieved mostly through John Reynold's Oscar-worthy, divinely subtle performance as the tormented, tragically misshapen caretaker Torgo. Part Quasimodo, part Hamlet, this gentle soul's noble end, in which he is massaged to death by a group of terrifying succubae in luscious robes, is unarguable one of the most poignant in motion picture history – it is both a tragedy and a triumph of the human spirit. Oh, was I alone with a tear in the eye at the end!

Indeed, Hal Warren's masterpiece achieves the perfect balance between the heartrendingly sad, the refreshingly sardonic, and the chillingly satanic. The Master and his hellbeast are as much evil personified as Margaret is the embodiment of goodness and chastity. In a way, this is the definitive modern-day equivalent of Goethe's Faust, though even more sublime in the simple poetry of its dialogue. When Torgo describes his master as being `not dead the way you know it' and `with us always' he is speaking for all of us, how we truly live on through the memory of our words and deeds in the minds of those who follow us, be they righteous or malevolent.

Hal Warran not only changed the face of the Texan film industry by encapsulating such a grand story in less than 75 minutes, it also helped usher in a whole new perspective of looking at film, discovering different forms which never would have been conceived. Also, it's obviously a very personal film for Warren, who allows us to share his love and devotion to the project, and it is a truly moving, cathartic experience.

It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, and maybe – just maybe – you'll learn a little bit about yourself.

The BBC on the exercise of the right of self defense

They're against it

Which I think is basically depraved.

And It's About Bloody Time!

The long awaited Part Seventeen of Friends In High Places.

Kiss This!

According to the Weekly Standard

Davis, meanwhile, has received an unexpected boost--more like a testosterone shot--from an unlikely source: the actress Cybill Shepherd, who bared her soul to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The report, verbatim:

Shepherd told The Chronicle that the governor is "a good kisser." At least he was 36 years ago, when they first met in Hawaii. Shepherd, the star of TV's "Moonlighting" and "Cybill," was a 16-year-old on a trip with her parents, and Davis was working a summer job at a travel company.

Shepherd said she was smitten almost immediately, as she saw the young Gray--eight years her senior--dressed in a decidedly nontropical blue blazer over a gray T-shirt. Not only was the future governor striking, she said, "but he was so smart. He always treated me like an intellectual equal."

Shepherd's father wasn't so happy when they "made out passionately on the beach. We were covered with sand, but we were never lovers," she said.

But wait, there's more . . .

They fell out of touch until the mid-1980s, when Shepherd received a pot holder in the mail--a knickknack from Davis' Assembly campaign. And now, she feels so upset about the recall election that--unsolicited by Davis operatives--she said, "I feel like holding a press conference."

"He is a wonderful man, and he's served this state well," Shepherd said. "Just because he doesn't speak with the charisma of John Kennedy, people want to recall him."

Let's set aside the visual of a 24-year-old future governor in a remake of "From Here to Eternity" with a 16-year minor (no Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr they). The real story here: Davis left the poor girl with a broken heart and a crummy pot holder, yet she's still a fan. If Gray can placate Cybill, maybe he can charm his way out of being recalled.

Hey Cybill! Can you say stupid slut?

Can you say overaged stupid slut?

Can you say boring overaged stupid slut?

Can you say boring overaged stupid corrupt-apparatchik-hugger slut?

I could go on forever. If there is one thing that power tripping looters (and their "bitches") hate, it's being held accountable.

Film Threat is telling us something else

MAY I HAVE TEN THOUSAND MARBLES, PLEASE?
(2003-08-20)

You know what that means, don't ya? It means it's time for a parade and this time the event is to celebrate the 25th Anniversary DVD release of "National Lampoon's Animal House: Double Secret Probation."

On August 21st, cast and crew from "Animal House" will take Hollywood Blvd. in "The World's Shortest Parade," including a marching band, a live elephant, dancers, an ROTC contingent, cast members riding on the famous cake float, a massive food fight, and an entire production number set to "Shout" performed live by Otis Day And The Knights.

The event will commence at 12 noon in front of the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Blvd.

"National Lampoon's Animal House: Double Secret Probation" will be released to DVD on August 26th.

Film Threat Gives Advice On Making Vampire Movies

Rule #2: If the Fangs Leave the Mouth and End Up in the Cleavage, Chances Are The Suspension of Disbelief Will Go Right Out the Window. I might still believe in the existence of lesbians, but you’ll shake my faith in vampires every time.

Uh, Okay...

The final paragraph in a story about the origin of body lice:

"But I found out that entomologists and taxonomists pretty much are united in agreeing that human pubic lice are more related to gorilla lice than to head lice. I don't want to speculate on what our ancestors were up to to get gorilla lice in the pubic area," Stoneking said.

The Audience Is Paying Attention

According to the Independent:

In Hollywood, 2003 is rapidly becoming known as the year of the failed blockbuster, and the industry now thinks it knows why.

No, the executives are not blaming such bombs as The Hulk, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle or Gigli on poor quality, lack of originality, or general failure to entertain. There's absolutely nothing new about that.

The problem, they say, is teenagers who instant message their friends with their verdict on new films - sometimes while they are still in the cinema watching - and so scuppering carefully crafted marketing campaigns designed to lure audiences out to a big movie on its opening weekend.

The throughly unpleasant fact of reality is that Hollywood is run by a bunch of uninmaginative twerps, the kind of people that Ayn Rand used to call Second Handers. It's the kind of mentality that wants to maximize profits but is unwilling to try something distinctly new or different. Thus the glut of sequels and the ongoing cinemisation of the sucessful television series. Even if the project is not a sequel or a series adaptation, the Second Handers still attempt to reduce risk by only combining elements that appeared to have worked in the past. Thus "The Adventures of Pluto Nash," an movie that combines the elements of Eddie Murphy, Computer Generated Imagery, and the Sci-Fi enviroment, still turns out to be an unwatchable piece of crap. (When I saw the trailer at the 2002 Convergence, my thought was, oh its "Moon Zero Two: The Next Generation.")

Another problem: Realism.

While certain liberties can be taken with space operas, films set in the real world (including 2001: A Space Odyssey) should be as realistic as possible as permitted by the film's budget. My own personal BS alarm went off when I saw the trailer for the second "Charlie's Angels" flick. It showed a scene where the main rotor on a helecopter gunship began to self-deploy. A mechanism for moving rotor blades from the storage position to the operational position would add weight to the aircraft. This is a bad thing in military aircraft.

And if the additional weight wasn't an issue a self-deploy system would still be useless in the operation context for one very good reason.

Every helecopter operated by an air force or army aviation unit comes with something called a ground crew. A bunch of guys whose job is to open, close, fold, and unfold components and perform maintainance on the aircraft.

Pardon me for being a bit long winded here, but when I see a BS element in an advertisment for a movie, I as a rule usually tend to avoid seeing it.

And then there is the issue of personal aesthetics.

While a brain-dead bimbo with obviously fake hair, eyebrows, lips, and breasts may be attractive to the urban pimp and his clientele, As I have said else where, I find such creatures to be repulsive. something about such such females just says "STAY AWAY" in big ugly letters. I absolutely refuse to see anything with Angolina Jolie in it, even for free. That's how put off by cosmetological fakery I am.

To make a long rant short (too late) I think that any Second Hand mentality who mindlessly copies the elements that others have used in their films really deserves to receive a financial kick in the face.

Not that the dumb bastards would learn from it.

I just got back from Mom's house...

...and my landlady, who spent 5 hours working on my computer, told me that I had SEVEN viruses on it.

FNORD

There Is No Photo With This Story, There Is No Photo With This Story

August 14, 2003 - Wireless Flash
Erin Moran -- Queen Of The Fake Orgasm
LOS ANGELES (Wireless Flash) -- Meg Ryan may be famous for her fake orgasm scene in "When Harry Met Sally" -- but her climax is getting competition from the gal who played Joanie Cunningham on "Happy Days."
For the last few months, actress Erin Moran has been touring the Midwest doing scenes from "The Vagina Monologues," a play that features women discussing their private parts.

Moran admits some folks have a hard time adjusting to sweet li'l Joanie talking about sex, but she takes pride in her performance -- and hopes it rubs off on the audience.

It has a few times. Moran says the best compliment she ever received was from a woman who told her that she faked an orgasm "... better than Meg Ryan."

Moran will be appearing at the TV Land Convention this weekend in Burbank, California. Although she probably won't demonstrate her orgasm ability, she will be happy to sign autographs.

So how is your day going?

After a long and sleepless night I finally doze off.

And then, in the middle of a dream involving girls who haven't quite reached the age of consent and the onset of a nuclear war, the jackhamer next door starts up.

I hate my life.

-- Les

Joe Bob Briggs on Lip Inflation

And while I'm on the subject: What is this thing with the lips? Forget breast enlargement. Some of these women in the movies have pumped up their lips BIGGER than their breasts. And, of course, it's especially attractive when the lip curls up in a permanent sneer, like the girl's dad was a bad Elvis impersonator. Yuk.

-- Joe Bob Briggs, Review of SHOWGIRLS

Seriously.

Who, apart from some urban ethnic pimp wanna-be, actually feels that inflated lips are pretty?

They are ugly, hideous, the visual equivalent of chalk squeeking on the blackboard.

Did I also say that they are ugly?

I must also confess that I hate eyebrow waxing and obviously fake hair color and configuration. That and breast implants make up what I call the California Clone look. And that's when I'm trying to be nice. Otherwise I normally call it the California Crack Whore look.

I won't go to certain movies, such as the remake of Gone In 60 Seconds, because the lead "actress" shows up in the trailer or the TV advert with such a hideous visage. And forget about picking up any recent issue of Playboy. I once tried to watch an event staged by the Comedy Central channel where Hef showed up with his harem, all California Clones. Time to call out the Sandmen, Hef has been running waaaay too long. I eventually ended up reusing the tape for something else.

Seriously people, even Tammy Faye Bakker has not had her lips inflated. That should tell us something.

One of the things I miss about the late Princess Diana was that she set a positive standard for personal grooming. She had zero use for the techniques of the California style of cosmetology.

Perhaps we could call it a corollary of Murphy's Law, if a Californian can do something wrong, he or she will.

-- Les

Recently Posted On rec.arts.sf.movies

While it is clear that Evil Overlords, and even Heroes, need advice
from time to time, it would also seem self-evident that those Monarchs
for whom power is a responsibility rather than a goal have a pretty
poor track record as well. Therfore I am compelled to present:

Things I Would Do If I Become The Good King

I will maintain a functional and regularly drilled army, a
top-of-the-line intelligence service, and a good working relationship
with any local Heroes.

My Wicked Uncle, Jealous Brother, etc. shall never be banished from
the realm. If I cannot justly imprison or execute them I shall grant
them a comfortable manor well within my borders, income sufficient to
indulge their least reprehensable vices, and a well trained staff who
will report his every move to me or my intelligence service.

I am not immortal and have no real interest in becoming so. For that
reason I will make comprehensive arrangements for the
succession/regency the day after my coronation and update them
frequently.

I will test all prospective heirs for intelligence, leadership
ability, administrative skills, and most importantly character. Those
who do not measure up in any the first three categories get pushed to
the back of the Order of Succession and put somewhere harmless.
Flunking the character test will, of course, result in the
Dysfunctional Kinfolk treatment mentioned above.

My Intellegence Service will have standing orders to investigate
(note: NOT prosecute) any rumours of corruption within the ranks of my
Advisors and High Nobles, including... make that _especially_ the ones
that I trust implicitly.

I will not stress over my lack of competent male heirs if I have any
daughters. Indeed, the arts of rulership shall be a part of all my
daughters' education (they could be better at it than my sons).

I shall seek out the most feared assassins in the land and give them
all a reasonable retainer conditional on my continued well being.

It is reasonable to assume that the Knights of my Realm have better
things to do than chase damsels in distress all the time. Therefore I
shall train all my daughters in escape techniques, wilderness
survival, disguise, armed/unarmed combat, sorcery if applicable, and
so forth. In addition, I will tell them to be discreetly armed at all
times.

Before summoning a DragonSlayer(tm) to my aid, I will see if any
Dragon not actively attacking my realm's populace is amiable to
reasoned negotiation. Setting out sentient sacrifices however, is
automatically out of the question.

My daughter shall be a judge, assuming she is not mature enough to be
_the_ judge, in any contest for her hand.

My Elite Royal Bodyguards shall never look like anything of the sort.
The people that look the part will be competent enough if it can be
helped, but I will have less conspicuous sorts hanging about at all
times.

My life is not mine to risk needlessly. Therfore I shall not command
my army in ther field unless my kingdom (not my throne) is at stake, I
am the only competent general on my side, and/or I have a competent
successor/regent waiting well away from the war zone.

If I do find myself in command of my army, I shall not make myself
more of a target than I must. For example; the Snow White Charger and
Guilded Armour stay at home, any strategy involving me leading a
clavary charge into the Teeth of the Enemy shall be designated Plan Z,
and so forth.

If my Royal Dignity demands that I maintain a harem, I shall conceal
wisewomen, sorceresses, warriors, R&D specialists, spies, covert ops
people, and the like therein.

I shall endeavor to include a staunchly heterosexual member of the
opposite gender, a staunchly homosexual member of my gender, a
devoutly celebate cleric, and an enuch among my closest advisors. They
will be charged with providing a Reality Check if a Mysterious
Seductress tries to worm her way into my heart (and incidentally, my
throne room)

Any other Bright Ideas?

-- H. Torrance Griffin

Paul Ciszek adds:

I shall not consider it beneath my honor to allow magic to be used in
the defense of the realm, provided said magic does not involve harming
the innocent, entering into contracts with evil powers, binding future
generations to onorous promises, or submitting to extortion of some sort.
(Ack, that didn't come out too ellegant. I'm thinking of Arthur digging up
Bran's head, because he wanted to defend Brittain through force of arms
alone.)

I shall not agree to engage the enemy in single combat, unless it
truly is a personal matter between the two of us that never should
have involved our respective peoples.

I shall have the laws of succession re-written such that, while my
daughters have more lattitude in making their own marital choices,
such marriages do not automatically confer any authority or
succession rights upon their husbands. Yes, Sir Young-and-handsome,
you may have my daughter's hand in marriage. No, you don't get any
of the kingdom along with it. Just start working on some grandchildren,
OK?

When setting a task for an unsuitable suitor, I will choose something
useful and beneficial that I would actually be pleasantly surprised
to see done successfully. I will not use this approach for any man
I consider truely unacceptable, as going back on a promise erodes my
authority.

While allowing noblemen with too much free time and testosterone to
skewer each other on the Field of Honor over imagined slights has its
benefits, I will also have a civil/criminal judicial system that will
make it possible to bring charges against the most able warrior without
jousting, if necessary.

And someone signing himself as Dreamer tacks his on:

A quick ten:

"If I absolutely *must* appoint a Grand Vizier, I will have him put under
geas/mentally conditioned so that in the event of my death or disappearance,
the first thing he will do is offer to serve *in the same capacity* to my
chosen successor. In the event that none of my chosen successors are
available, he will conduct a fair and reasoned search for a suitable
successor, to whom he will then offer his services. It will be made clear to
him that accepting the post means there is no further opportunity for
advancement."

"My private chambers, especially those where my (pregnant) wife and/or
children spend most of their time, shall have a permanent
anti-magic/anti-tech field erected over them. (I'm thinking along the lines of a permanent Mordenkainen's Disjunction
here. Something with some *teeth.*) No matter how good my
defensive magics/security systems are, when a Bad Guy wants to do something
nasty, he always succeeds. Let him work for it."

"Anyone who uses the phrase 'I live but to serve you, My Lord' will by law
be permanently barred from assuming any position of authority, no matter
what happens to me and/or my chosen successors."

"If one or more of my children turn out to be Bad Seeds, I will offer them
my unconditional love, and have them put under geas/mentally conditioned to
utterly refuse any and all offers of power made to them upon my
death/disappearance/betrayal."

"If I have an unstoppable superweapon of Good, I will use it as early and as
often as possible, rather than holding it in reserve or caching it to allow
my child or chosen successor to use it to avenge my death."

"I will never eat or drink anything offered me privately by someone who has
recently assured me of their unconditional love, fealty, and/or support."

"Crowns go on the big head: any business transacted by the little head does
not confer any privileges pertaining thereto. If I absolutely must make time
with a Bad Girl/Bad Boy, I will make it my business to have them and their
offspring subjected to the Grand Vizer treatment."

"Last stands are for poems. If an Evil Army has overwhelmed my defenses, I
will escape, quietly form a government-in-exile, and wait for its leader to
become complacent and careless before acting quickly and decisively to
retake my domain."

"I will remember that while Good always triumphs in the end, 'the end' is
subject to interpretation and I am not necessarily the embodiment thereof."

"I will remember that Evil will pull stunts that I wouldn't necessarily
think of: that's why it's Evil. Among my advisors will be an average
five-year-old child: if, in his objective opinion, one of my other advisors
is not to be trusted or is behaving sinisterly, that person will temporarily
be taken out of the chain of command while I investigate."

First We Saved Them From The Kaiserreich, then...

The BBC reports:

Leeds City Council mistakenly gave Moira Thoms 14 days to remove two vases, each containing a single white rose, from around the plaque at Lawnswood Cemetery where her ashes are scattered.

If I didn't have to go over to Mom's house this morning I would go into a long rant about the idioticies of British government. Especially about the blindly stupid policy of getting most a generation of young men slaughtered in order to save a certain bunch of egotists across the channel from the consequences of their own collective desires.

Seriously, I think the French role in lighting off Global Slaughterfest Number One is grossly underreported by most historians.

Uh, Riiiiiight...

From the Script Secrets message board:

I don't worry about monsters. My four year old loves The Lord of the Ring. her favorite character? THE BALROG!!! she jumps up and down, clapping her hands. "He's coming!! the bell rog is coming!!! He he he. he roars likes this RRRRRAAAARRR. No no no Gandolf, you don't hurt my bell rog!!!!"

Military Common Sense Rules

From Strategypage.com


A lot of life's problems can be explained by the U.S. Military and its applications of common sense ...

1. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
(Paul Rodriguez)

2. "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
(Army's magazine of preventive maintenance ).

3. "Aim towards the Enemy."
(Instruction printed on US M79 Rocket Launcher)

4. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
(U.S. Marine Corps)

5. Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
(U.S. Air Force)

6. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
(Infantry Journal)

7. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
(US Air Force Manual)

8. Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
(Gen. MacArthur)

9. Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
(Infantry Journal)

10. You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me.
(Marine Gunnery Sergeant)

11. Tracers work both ways.
(US Army Ordnance)

12. Five second fuses only last three seconds.
(Infantry Journal)

13. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
(US Navy Seaman)

14. Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid.
(David Hackworth)

15. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
(Infantry Journal)

16. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
(Joe Gay)

17. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.
(Admiral Hornblower)

18. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
(Unknown Marine Recruit)

19. Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
(Your Buddies)

20. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
(Army Platoon Sergeant)

21. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
(David Hackworth)

22. Your job is to kill the other person before they kill you so that your national leaders can negotiate a peace that will last as long as it takes the ink to dry.
(Drill Instructor)

23. In the Navy, the Chief is always right.
(Written on the door into the Chiefs quarters)

Kevin Costner as Uncle Dennie? I should hope not!

According to Fox News:

In 1990, Costner was at the top of his game, starring in and directing “Dances With Wolves,” which grossed more than $184 million, according to Billboard. The film also won Oscars for best film and best director, not to mention a nod for Costner as best actor.

Fast forward a decade and Costner has become more famous for dancing with horrible scripts and big-budget bombs.

“Waterworld” — the “Gigli” of its day — was hammered by critics and became the butt of water-cooler jokes. "The Postman," an unequivocal bomb, followed two years later and his films “Message in a Bottle” and “Dragonfly" also failed to thrill audiences.

Yet Hollywood keeps calling on the charming actor and others like him who have equally stalled careers.

The World Is Doomed I Tell You!

The Microsoft Matrix.

Plays on Quicktime. I usually use the click to save function.

Does This Portend The End Of The World As We Know It?

According to the Internet Movie Data Base "Manos, The Hands Of Fate" has been replaced as the worlds worst movie by two boy meets girl crapfests, one of which is the J-Lo-Afflect bomb Gigli.

At least it wasn't some epic "Stalwart Workers Heroically Achieve The Goals Of The Glorious Five-Year Plan" piece of propaganda from the People's Republic Of Whatever.

Does It Still Smell Great In The Morning?

"It is like this: you've got (an) enemy that's hard to get at. And it will save your own lives to use it, and there is no international contraventions against it ... I don't know that there is any humane way to kill your enemy."

-- Anonymous Marine Corps Official.

Something About A Weird Purple Thing From Eden Prairie...

"The Artist Formally Known as Prince bought a $10 million mansion in Toronto, apparently because he's fed up with an American music industry that so far won't distribute his new album, "News." He has plans to sell the album directly through Amazon.com, but does he realize he'll now be required to double every song in French?"

-- Joe Bob Briggs, The Joe Bob Report, August 6, 2003.


Could the Purple Thing's failure to sell his new album be because it sucks? Do we REALLY want to know?

No?

I didn't think so.

-- Les

Astoundingly stupid but confirmed at National Review Online:

"Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D., Tex.), while visiting Mars Pathfinder Mission Control Center, asked whether the Pathfinder had taken pictures of the American flag planted by Neil Armstrong in 1969."

We are sometimes compelled when witnessing one of this apparently mentally deficient or depraved woman's public rants against gun owners and rational civilization in general to retorically ask ourself this question: What fucking planet did this stupid bitch come from?

--Les

I know this is hearasay at the moment, but HUH?

Sheila Jackson-Lee Asks About Flags on Mars Source: National Review Published: 10/97 Posted: 12/12/2000 14:55:49 PST Rep. Sheila Jackson-Lee (D., Tex.), while visiting Mars Pathfinder Mission Control Center, asked whether the Pathfinder had taken pictures of the American flag planted by Neil Armstrong in 1969...( when told 'NO' she then asked 'then what flag was it ?)

Now all we need to do is hook up a generator...


The grandson of the late revolutionary Iranian leader Ayatollah Ruholla Khomeini is protesting the Islamic regime, calling it the "the world's worst dictatorship."

Hussein Khomeini, 46, charged the heirs to his grandfather have exploited his name, "the name of Islam and the religious regime in order to continue their tyrannical rule," according to the London-based Arabic-language daily Al-Sharq Al-Awsat.

The report said Hussein Khomeini, in a sign of protest, left his place of residence in Iran's holy Shi'ite city of Qom to relocate to Iraq's holy Shi'ite city of Najaf, which is traditionally the seat of the highest Shi'ite religious authority.

He called for separation of religion and state in Iran and said he expects the opposition to the regime will gather momentum and turn into a popular movement.

Anita from Boston had this to say about DARK STAR:

"When I was 6, mom dropped my sister and I off at the theater, thinking Dark Star was about a horse (?!) I had nightmares about that damn beach ball for years! One of the few videos that I actually bought. Hopefully this will be released on DVD (and then I'll go buy a DVD player...) Everytime I watch Alien, I think about Pinback. "

Okay Anita...

An Interesting Theory of Liberal Behavior from "To The Point":


We thus need a deeper understanding of what motivates liberals that goes far beyond simply hurling epithets of treason and traitor at them.

For such understanding, we need to travel to the Amazon. Among the Yanomamo and other tribes deep in the Amazon rain forests, it is an accepted practice that when a woman gives birth, she tearfully proclaims her child to be ugly.

In a loud mortified lament that the entire tribe can hear, she asks why the gods have cursed her with such a pathetically repulsive infant. She does this in order to ward off the envious black magic of the Evil Eye, the Mal Ojo, that would be directed at her by her fellow tribespeople if they knew how happy she was with her beautiful baby. Anthropologists observe that for most primitive and traditional cultures, "every individual lives in constant fear of the magical aggression of others... there is only one explanation for unforeseen events: the envious black magic of another villager."

Envy is the source of tribal and traditional cultures' belief in Black Magic, the fear of the envious Evil Eye. Reflect for a moment on the extent to which tribespeople in a tribal, "primitive" culture suffuse their lives with superstition, witchcraft, sorcery, voodoo, "black magic," the "evil eye." The world for them is teeming with demons, spirits, ghosts and gods, all of whom are malicious and dangerous -- in a word, envious.

What Ann Coulter doesn't understand is that the liberal mind is an atavism, a regression to a primitive mentality. Liberals believe in Black Magic just as strongly as Yanomamos. What makes a liberal is his or her fear of the Evil Eye of Envy.

An American liberal's primary motivation is not to betray his country. It is to appease the envious. Liberalism is not a political ideology. It is a psychological strategy to avoid being envied. What causes someone to be a liberal is the fear of being envied. It is the fear of being envied that is the source of "liberal guilt."

Carly Simon to announce who’s vain

"Legendary singer Carly Simon is set to finally disclose who inspired her hit song ‘You’re So Vain’- but only to one wealthy fan. The 58-year-old will reveal one of the enduring secrets in pop to the highest bidder at an auction to raise money for Martha's Vineyard, the Massachusetts, America Island where she lives. However, the winner of next week's auction must sign an agreement never to disclose the coveted information."

Darn it!

From Lowell Ponte in Frontpage
Magazine:

 

This conflagration could easily have spread to hundreds of
homes in the densely-packed neighborhood not far from La Jolla beaches.
Perhaps known to the arsonists, the development’s dirt roads were impassible
by many fire trucks, and only one working fire hydrant was available at
the site.

Friday’s attack destroyed a whole subdivision of half-finished homes,
toppled and destroyed a 100-foot construction crane worth $7 million, and
blew up a 500-gallon fuel tank.

“I’m out of work now. Thank you, arsonist,” one carpenter on the project
told reporters. He was one of thousands whose livelihoods or investment
were devastated by this attack.

The estimated cost of this blaze, set during the tinder-dry days of
San Diego summer by an arsonist who knew when and how to do maximum damage,
is $20 million.

“If you build it, we will burn it,” read the 12-foot-long banner authorities
found at the scene. “The E.L.F.s are mad.”

An email received by the San Diego Union-Tribune newspaper declared
the banner “a legitimate claim of responsibility by the Earth Liberation
Front,” a group identified and pursued as terrorists by the Federal Bureau
of Investigation.

I thought about typing in a long winded rant about how the greenies hate
human life so much that they don't care how much human death and suffering
results from their feel-good posturing. But I'm just too emotionally drained
from rage about that subject. The vermin hate us. The worst of them wish
to see us dead.

The simple unevadable fact of reality in my own personal view is that
Environmentalists are nothing less than Enemies of Mankind, and it is about
[expletive] time that they are dealt with as such, which is as vermin fit
solely for extermination.

-- Leslie Bates

The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler has been kind enough to answer the irrational rantings of this Socialist Twit.

In my younger days I used to enjoy the act of intellectually pummeling those persons that Ayn Rand (on one of her nicer days) used to call Looters. My problem is that the act of rubbing their noses in the conceptual fecal matter that they routinely produce has become way too easy (which sort of implies that the Looters are way too stupid) and not as emotionally satisfying for me as it was about ten years ago when I started posting on Usenet newsgroups.

Misha at the Rottweiler takes an essentially defensive position and simply points out the fact that the self-proclaimed "conceptual guerrilla" is rather throughly disconnected from reality. Which is fine as far as it goes.

If one wanted to go on the offensive (Or is it the Counter-Offensive?) one may simply point out the fact that the socialist economic structure is based on SLAVE LABOR.

"From each according to his ability -- to each according to his need." Is the literal description of a slave labor economic system.

It is invariably the full socialist states such as the Soviet Union, the Third Reich, and the various People's Republics of Whatever that build and depend on full-service slave labor camps to create the goods that they need to survive.

It is the socialist parties in the otherwise Capitalist nations of the West that act as if wealth, the product of everyone's thought and labor, belong not to the individual who created it, but to some manefestation of the collective (Der Volk, the World Proletariat, etc.) as a whole, and thus act as if a robbery has occured when the true creators of wealth are allowed to keep some of it.

(Gosh, wow, I do tend to get a bit long winded sometimes.)

The socialist is for the most part someone who declines to live the essentially rational and productive life that is proper to Man, and instead goes to great lengths (including the total disconnect from reality) to cook up excuses to grab the wealth created by others. As if the goods and services created by others were something naturally found in nature.

Instead of living as rational men, socialists choose instead to exist as less than rational animals.

Perhaps we should start treating them as such.

A comment from an old Marine:

So what are we going to do with this ragheaded US trooper who took it upon himself to murder his brothers-at-arms? The act of killing the man who fights alongside you is so atrocious as to merit special attention. If our Constitution did not forbid "cruel and unusual punishment," we would resurrect the exemplary British act of "hanging in irons," in which the subject is hoisted aloft in a snug-fitting network of iron straps and permitted to perish of thirst or exposure, whatever comes first. Clearly we are not going to do that, but whatever we are going to do will be too good for this fellow.

-- LTC Jeff Cooper, USMC, Retired. August 2003.