It may be that the Iranian threat to start the apocalypse may have been the usual emission of hot air that we should have expected from the totalitarian filth presently running the former Imperium Persia into the cesspit.
Or the bomb may not have detonated.
I can understand if they can't master the technique of constructing a functional plutonium device. But if reports were accurate they were supposed to be building an enriched uranium bomb.
How could they screw that up? It's a simple device, two subcritical masses brought together with an explosive charge. Is that too complicated for them?
And the 22nd of August would have been a perfect day to set one off too.
A terrorist nuke could have been stashed in a vehicle parked in the lot of the convenience store at the corner of 34th Avenue and 58th Street in South Minneapolis. From this spot the device would have taken out the Air Force Reserve base where Air Force One was parked, killing President Bush. The fallout from this device would have contaminated the Mississippi River downstream of Minneapolis. Any city downstream that used the river as their source of drinking water would be in serious trouble. It is also likely that any barges and towboats that were already in the contaminated water of the Mississippi would not be allowed in the uncontaminated tributaries such as the Ohio and Missouri rivers.
The device would have also flattened the delivery area of the Pizza Hut where I work which would very likely kill me in the process.
Of course if I survived the attack through the performance of a delivery up near Lake Street I would be out of a job.
And I would not be happy about that.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.