In fact President Bush, and all Republicans in general, worship the Pagan god Jeff, the god of biscuits. If you think back, Republicans have existed at all times of Human history. Sure we have had different names at different times: the Romans, the Macedonians, the Hithites, the Meiji Zaibatsu, and etc. But each of these groups had one thing in common, a love of buttermilk biscuits. Every single one of them was absolutely crazy about them. I have no idea why, it just is a fact of life for Republicans.
So if you understand that, then everything that we do is to either prop up the Buttermilk Biscuit industry, or to force other nations to eat them in mass quantities. Why did President Bush go to war with Iraq? Biscuits. He realized that if the Iraqi people could only take a savory bite of the warm, buttery, flaky biscuit, then all hostilities would end, as long as a stable supply chain could be created.
Having just revealed the deepest and darkest secret of the Republican Party, Skippy will now have to be killed.
Dammit! I just cleaned my guns too!
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