Who the heck needs Allahu Allan, anyway?
Come worship me!
1. I don't bite!
2. I don't smite!
3. I don't ask you to smite in My name!
4. I never ask for donations!
5. "Drink beer and be fruitful" is My only commandment!
6. "Sweet Home Alabama" is a great and easy hymnal to sing in Mine name! (If that doesn't work, anything by Aerosmith or Grateful Dead is great!)
7. My words are written on the subway walls... and tenement halls...
8. If you ask Me an important question, I'll never give you a bad answer! (... because I probably won't respond!)
9. If a prophet comes in My name, it's easy to gauge the veracity of his claim!
And finally -
10. If the world ends, at least you'll know it wasn't my fault!
The False God:
Hard to be a raving fanatic when you don't know what to be crazy about!