Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il claims to have scored eleven holes-in-one on the first round of golf he has ever played.
We're supposed to take this seriously?
Come on! Isn't golf a bourgeois distraction? You would never hear about how many holes-in-one were scored by Comrade Stalin. Okay, Comrade Castro might have something to say about his own baseball stats, but you would never, never, never hear a peep about how well any other big comrade did in any other sport.
(Rumor also has it that a Mr. Billy-Jeff Clinton of the State of Arkansas has also cheated at golf. This is only a rumor.)
We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
Oh, I forgot...the Dear Leader also sings and dances in TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE.
Or was that just a puppet...
Speaking of an actual sports record, according to Dr. Sowell:
If anyone ever doubts that Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player of all time, ask him: How many shutouts did Ty Cobb or Barry Bonds ever pitch? Ruth still holds the American League record for shutouts in a season by a left-handed pitcher.
That should be the final update...