From 1001 Things Mr. Welch is not allowed to do in a roleplaying game:
976. I was not issued a flamethrower for my own personal amusement.
977. Disable plot device is not a real skill.
979. Mumus do not appear in the starting equipment list for a reason.
981. My last wish cannot be for Ragnarok.
982. Trailblaze means find a path, not cut down every tree between here and there.
984. In the middle of a black ops I cannot moonlight as tech support.
990. Even if he botches his medicine roll, I can't sue the medtech for malpractice.
991. "Kiww the Wabbit" is not a proper viking battlecry.
994. Corporate Pop Whore is not a real prestige class.
998. The script for the Baywatch movie does not cause more Sanity loss than the Necronomicon.
1000. I will stop referring to the powergamer as MinMaximus.
1001. No matter how bad the game is going, I won't stradle the table like Slim Pickens riding a bomb.
What I want to know is what is the deal with the accordion?