Hooray!!!!

The First Church of Xenu is open for business!

Praise "Bob" Hail Xenu!

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In Other News

A bunch of traitors whine about a scheduled non-nuclear explosive test:

Plans for a Pentagon-led experiment that involves detonating 700 tons of explosives in the desert drew criticism from state leaders and a disarmament activist.

The explosion scheduled for June 2 at the Nevada Test Site is part of an effort to design a weapon that can penetrate solid rock formations in which a country might store nuclear weapons or other weapons of mass destruction.

"I am concerned that tests of this magnitude have been planned without providing Nevadans with any information about the possible impact on their health or safety," said Demcratic Sen. Minority Leader Harry Reid in a statement Thursday.

Never mind that the test detonation of 700 tons of conventional explosives has already been cleared with the state government.

Disarmament activist Pete Litster said tests at the site violate international law. Litster, executive director of the Shundahai Network, said the site belongs to the Western Shoshone Indian tribe.

No. The test site belongs to the United States Government.

Not that this or any other fact of reality would ever cross the self-mangled remnant of the mind of a willing servant of the enemies of Mankind.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.


UPDATE AT 1040 HRS CST:

May I also say that a test detonation of 700 tons of conventional explosives would also be pretty damned cool?

Of course I will.

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So Anyway

I stopped over at The People's Progressive Truth Generator and got this message:

Leslie Bates, you are a hateful caveman because you think that property has to be earned!

So, how is your day going?
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Think Of It As Idiocy In Action

The NEW YORK TIMES, a corporation, complains about the evils of capitalism:

Apparently some folks believe that its evil for a private firm to fire those employees who are no longer needed, but that its perfectly right for the communist state to kill someone it doesn't have any use for.

Surreal, isn't it?
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Question

The British Royal Navy buys its torpedoes from a firm that is named for Marconi, the Italian who invented the Radio, and the Italian Navy buys its torpedoes from a firm that is named for Whitehead, the Englishman who invented the self-propelled torpedo.

I wonder if Paul Harvey knows about this?
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Useful Information

The Church of Scamitology teaches us how to overcome the barriers to money laundering.

Of course I just leave cash in my poockets when I do the laundry. It works for me.
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And Now...

A word from The Guru:

It is a continual annoyance to see the press is unable to separate the pistol from its cartridge. I suppose it is unreasonable to expect a journalist to know very much about his subject, but it does seem that any time a reporter works into a technical field (such as, for instance, skiing, self-propelled vehicles or smallarms), he might be expected to look into the subject.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
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So Anyway

Apparently William Shatner turned 75 today.

Out of curiosity I bought a copy of his latest CD, HAS BEEN. (Almost wrote "album" which would indicate how old I am.)

I started playing the first track on the CD after it arrived and one of the co-owners of the house that I was living in came storming downstairs, apparently upset that I was subjecting her to the sound of Shatner's voice. Well, Shatner does have that reputation.

On my PC's hard drive I tend to separate MP3 files either according to the originating artist or according to an applicable concept, such as Comedy, Celtic Modern, or masturbation (three songs in that one).

I decided to play my MP3 of COMMON PEOPLE and discovered that instead of classifying William Shatner as an artist I had instead pegged him as a concept.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
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A Disturbance.

I just had a dream where I saw several multistage solid fuel rockets being launched to west of me.

Minuteman III ICBM's from silos in the Dakotas?

Please pardon me if I seem to be a bit freaked out at the moment.
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Playing With Photoshop.

I can't sleep and I'm being a naughty boy.



We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
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In Other News

A message from the creators of SOUTH PARK:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

-Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu

Where do I join? What?

I also just saw the trailer for the third season of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.


Really guys, surrender is never an option.

I'm not sure if I want to resume cable or satellite TV service.
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Once Again It's Friday

Vasko Kohlmayer at The American Thinker has some thoughts on what I call the Mental Inversion Syndrome or what he calls The Chomsky Paradox:

I would hereby like to coin the term “Chomsky Paradox.” The Chomsky Paradox is a singular phenomenon which takes place in the brain of a western leftist when he looks at an oppressed people and thinks they are free.

I am aware that it is nearly impossible to conceive how anyone could see the world in this way, but apparently there are such people and Mr. Chomsky is one of them. Long, indeed, is the stretch from un-free to free as the two are diametrical opposites. Logic, reason and language fail us when we try to understand the thought process which led Mr. Chomsky to arrive at his conclusion, but now we at least have a term by which to call it.

As someone who lived under communism I can tell Mr. Chomsky that oppressed is in fact not free. I am also eternally grateful that not all Americans belabor under the sway of the Chomsky Paradox. If they did, there would have been no Cold War and no Ronald Reagan. There also would have been no freedom for the hundreds of millions liberated from the yoke of communist tyranny by the United States.

If we follow Mr. Chomsky's alleged logic to its ultimate conclusion we must see that the most free man in the world is someone falling face first into a ditch after receiving a ballistic lobotomy from a marxist thug.

In reality Chomsky and those who treat him as an authority are a hazard to themselves and to Humanity in general.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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On Visiting Red States

Wicked Thoughts on what to do when visiting states in the American Midwest, this also applies to Minnesota and Wisconsin:

If You Come to the Midwest, Know This:

Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross into states such as Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska, the Tourism Councils in those states have adopted a new policy. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Midwesterner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter the states.

1. That slope-shouldered farm body did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road". No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we shot Bambi, we got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us when a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13 inch trout you fish for - "bait".

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an Idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

11. So, you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we use four weeks a year.

12. Let's get it straight. We have one stop light in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish, carp too - and turtle. Your really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 69 goes two ways. State Road 24 goes the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

19. That Officer, be it Conservation Officer, sheriff deputy, city police, or highway patrol that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is "Sir".

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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Someone Else's Thought For The Day

Murray at Silent Running said:

2,049 years ago one man thought lots of power wasn’t enough and went for total power. Some of his closest friends didn’t go for the plan and did a drive by on his ass.

After that it got messy.

Power corrupts, absolute power attracts attention.

Adverse attention at that.

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It's Monday!

There was a power outage while I was sleeping and it still blowing and snowing outside.

The doggy fence between the back door and my truck is just caked over with snow.

And I would not be surprised if both Minneapolis and Saint Paul schools were both closed for the day. This will of course mean that there will be a surge in orders for delivered pizza on a day when street conditions are too dangerous for anything other than emergency travel.

What can I say, many people are simply stupid.
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Announcement

Off to Mom's for the weekend.

Back on Sunday Night.
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It's Friday!

Feh!

I'm also really getting more than a bit tired of seeing lefties trying to show us how intellectually and morally superior they are to us mere humans when in fact they simply do not possess a decent fraction of a clue.

The bumper sticker is one of their usual weapons of choice in efforts at posturing. The stupidity of President Bush, and by extension those who voted for him, is the usual message.

Here's a question. Who is dumber, the fighter pilot with a MBA from Harvard, or the bozoid who feels that the fighter pilot with a MBA from Harvard is an idiot?

I practically answered my own question in asking it.

If I were to stoop to posturing with a bumper sticker it would read: PROSECUTE TRAITORS NOW!

While suffering from Bush Derangement Syndrome is in itself not treasonous, it does appear to be a precursor to treasonous behavior.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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This Is Cool

A reminder of total coolness brought to us by Ed Driscoll:

Let's flashback even further to about 1966. Compare the apathy and arrogance of today's celebrities with this photo of Stewart, a brigadier general in the Air Force Reserve, at about age 58, looking like God in a flight suit, walking away from a B-52F, after a mission over North Vietnam.

I have no idea how many flights Stewart made over Nam--but even if it was just one for this photo-op, think of what he had to go through: the 5000 mile flight from Los Angeles to at least Guam, where most of the B-52s flew out of during the Vietnam war, the risk of getting shot out of the sky by crack North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gunners and killed or captured, plus the timeout from his career, when by the 1960s, he was earning at a minimum, in the very high six-figures per movie. I'm sure that when the call came, if Stewart or his handlers quietly said, "err, no thanks", the Air Force wouldn't have pressed the issue. But, just as he did in WWII, Stewart served his country.

(Les is picking his jaw off the floor right now. He'll be back after the reattachment procedure is completed.)
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Meanwhile...On The Left Coast

Barbara Streisand redefines the standard for idiocy.

Barbra Streisand has launched a new spelling error-ridden dispatch on the Internet -- a dispatch that mocks President Bush for being a "C student!"

In her February 28th, 2006 essay, Streisand flubs 11 words, a personal record.

I would bet that Ms. Streisand simply dictated her rant to a product of the California public schools. But then the actual purpose of the public school systems since the time of John Dewey has been indoctrination in the dogma of Socialism. Thus it is no surprise that skills that are useful for living in the real world are given a lower priority.

I will confess that English was my worst subject in school but I do routinely use a spell checker and I do care when I find a mistake in one of my own rants. Usually this is a skipped or misplaced word. (I just caught and corrected one in the previous sentence.)

Of course the posturing of mentally and morally deficient individuals can be quite amusing as long as it is temporally brief. I once tried to view a stolen (by a friend from a local neo-nazi) copy of TRIUMPH OF THE WILL and that four hour cinematic spectacle of moral posturing had literally put me to sleep.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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A Reminder

It's nine more days until The Patchouli Putsch.

Please have your gas masks ready. They are going to raise a stink for sure.
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Someone Else's Thought For The Day

James Ozark on the leading moral black hole* of the Twentieth Century:

On this day (March 5th), in 1953, the globe released its collective breath, as the Bringer of Light finally claimed his own ... Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili may you rot in hell.

*According to Jerry Pournelle, Russians apparently prefer to use the term "frozen stars" for this kind of astronomical phenomena as that the literal translation of the term "black hole" is used as a label for a particular bit of human anatomy.

What are your questions on this block of instruction?
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And Now...

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN in thirty seconds.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.
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And Now For Something Completely Different

Wicked Thoughts on aircraft landings:

After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the flight attendant came on with, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

I've made some rather hard landings while taking flying lessons. In one case actually taking some very visible chunks out of the tires. ("Oh, you guys better replace those tires...")

We now return you to our regularly scheduled reality.
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A Reminder

PILLAGE THEN BURN!

And can we get an "Arrrrr"?

This message brought to you by SLUGGY FREELANCE.
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