My Horoscope from THE ONION

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)

The worst of it all seems to be behind you, especially if you were serious about that whole "death would be a mercy at this point" thing.

I Hate My Life

My car broke down today.

I was going to visit the campus of one of the local county vocational schools as part of oning project to get my life back on track. And the fucking car would turn over but it wouldn't fire.

I hate my life.

Yes, I'm An Atheist, But This Is Still Funny

Bob G. in Little Green Footballs sez:

Jesus saves, Moses invests, Mohammad plunders.

On The Other Hand, The Photos Suck

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
September 27, 1998

Independent Persecutor Kenneth Starr has been offered a job... at Hustler Magazine! "After a reading of the Starr Report I am impressed by the salacious and voyeuristic nature of your work, I am offering you a position as Advisor On Pornography for Hustler Magazine," Larry Flynt said in a letter to Starr. "The quality and quantity of material you have assembled in the Starr Report contains more pornographic references than those provided by Hustler Online services this month. I congratulate you for opening the doors of libraries and schools to pornographic literature. Those of us at Hustler need your assistance in extending the parameters of pornography to a wider community of adults. You have opened a new era in promoting explicit sexual material to the public." Last month Hustler Magazine had 44 graphic references to genitalia, but the Starr Report has over 50 graphic references to genitalia. Ken Starr has yet to accept the position at Hustler.

No comment.

Objectivist Answers Really Dumb Question

Wayne Dunn writes

QUESTION: "Do you think socialism was able to 'civilize' or 'tame' capitalism by 1914? Or do you think that capitalism did not need to be 'civilized' or 'tamed'."

First we must define our terms. Socialism is state ownership of the means of production. Capitalism is private ownership of the means of production.

To be civilized is to deal with others only through their consent, through persuasion rather than brute force. Civilized men understand that physical coercion is out of the question, that any relationship between individuals must be voluntary. An uncivilized man, by contrast, has no reservations whatsoever about applying a club to any perceived adversary's noggin. Force and intimidation characterize his actions; coercion is his modus operandi.

When I grow Up I Want To Be A Movie Director Just Like Sir Ridley

Sir Ridley Scott said in an interview:

To me, the smallness of a film is really the size of the characters in the movie. If you've got great characters, then you can say the film has no particular smallness attached to it. You can watch a $150 million piece of (garbage) and call it a big movie, but actually, it's a very tiny movie because it was driven by a tiny brain.

British Jurist Exercises Rational Judgement

Judge strips boy of damages

Clare Dyer
Thursday September 25, 2003
The Guardian

A judge has stripped a schoolboy of a £4,250 damages award after his school argued that it would be "madness" to compensate him for breaking his arm after falling off a swing as he played Superman during a sports day at Chillerton country primary school near Newport.
Ryan Simonds, from Rookley, Isle of Wight, was given damages by a county court judge in March for the injury.

But, overturning the ruling that the school was negligent, Mr Justice Gross said at London's high court that if "word got out" the boy had won his case "the probability is sports days and other pleasurable sporting events will simply not take place ... Such events could easily become uninsurable, or at prohibitive cost."

And the fifth horseman, Absurdity, fell off his mount, and there was much amusement.

He Wants To Do What?

Jerry Pournelle wants to scuttle the shuttle.

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?

The University of Texas Online Map Collection.

Speaking of Filmmaking

On 20 Sep 2003 12:08:49 -0700, [FNORD] (Tom R. Rastell) wrote in red.arts.movies.production:

My idea is to make a movie that´is so bad, that it will be the new definition of bad.

It should be so bad, that "Plan 9 from outer Space" is Oscar-material against my movie.

What do I need for a really bad movie ?

My reply was:

A subject that you are really and truly passionate about that no one
else could give a rat's posterior for.

Stock footage.

Speak down to the audience with badly written diologue and exposition.

Stock footage.

Cut corners on production values in a way that is clearly visible on
screen.

Did I also say stock footage, you can never have enough stock footage.

I have enough untalented amateur actors, a story that makes no sense at all but equipment for decent quality.

A well known but washed up actor or actress is often an asset. Should
he or she drop dead in mid-production you should replace him or her
with someone who isn't quite a proper double.

Above all, have fun doing it.

A British Filmmaker Rants and Rages

Martyn Finn writes:

What we want to see is a glamorous view of Britain, America does it, why shouldn’t we? Why is it that we always make films about the poverty of Britain, or the crime, or the hatred of Britain? The reason, it’s easy. It’s easy to do because it’s easy to show something as it really is. The difficult thing, the thing we don’t want to do is try and make something its not. We all know how fake Hollywood is, that’s because they make the effort to create the sets and lighting to make us believe what is not really there. So pull your finger out Britain and make something worth watching, not something to slit your wrists over.

I'll have to keep that in mind. Minnesota weather sucks worse than British weather.

Froggish Behavior

A member of a mailing list for Russian movie camera fans describes the behavior of the
"bereaved" relatives of a deceased French expatriate cinematographer:

I was looking through the material left over
after the estate of a French DP had been (for
want of a better word) plundered by his family.

In the "trash" pile there were some French "Cine
Techique Reguard" (spelling may be off for the
reasons later listed)-- and in one of them was
the article and picture about the 16mm gate and
magazine. I asked if I could have the magazines
since they were in the trash pile, and they were
ripped out of my hands. After a few moments of
angry discussion the family switched back from
French to English to inform me that I was no longer
welcome, please leave, and keep my hands off of
everything as I left.

He had not been on speaking terms with the rest
of the family, and had moved to the US twenty five
or thirty years ago. Within hours of his death in
Africa (on a shoot) the family had hired someone to
make sure his ex-wife did not "get away" with
anything, and within a month had flown over, packed
up almost everything and was preparing it to go back
to France,

In the back yard was a large pile of "trash" that
they were planning to burn before they found out
that we had a no-burn because of air quality order
in effect. (And they took that personally, too.)
After I asked about the magazines they picked up
the trash, putting it into bags.

And then they have the bloody nerve to call us barbaric.

So Islam Doesn't Prohibit Graven Images?

Hamas grafitti in a Palestinian mosque and the Pythonic commentary

Oh yeah...

Arrrrr...

Today Is "Talk Like A Pirate" Day

Or in the various Traveller universes, talk like an "ethically challenged merchant" day.

Arrrrr...

What Does Bin Laden Want?

Nothing.

Donald Sensing writes:

I see no evidence that bin Laden has ever had any plan except violence itself, committing it where he could, when he could. He commits violence against Western targets with no vision apparent beyond the violence. He has no idea of how to constitute a true nation state. He is a man whose vision extends no further than more fighting, which is to say, he has no vision at all.

This should not be a surprise since the Islam and the Koran are simply the collected mouth droppings of a thief, murderer, and rapist whose goals were the acquisition of power, plunder, and what our urban underclass commonly calls "booty."

Linux Developer Gets Laid

Philadelphia, PA - In news that is sure to excite the Linux community, long time Linux developer Todd Stanton got laid.

An Interesting Website

The Scampton Veterinary Optician

Which has an interesting phrasebook page, and a collection of short and strange films.

Think Of It As Islam In Action

Iranian Officials Raped Reporter, Then Killed Her

A Toronto-based lawyer, Hamid Mojtahedi, told Radio Farda, the American-funded radio station beamed into Iran, that Kazemi was raped by intelligence agents who worked with Tehran prosecutor Said Mortazavi, a man referred to as the “Butcher of the Press” by Iranian dissidents.

Mr. Mojtahedi, who traveled to Iran last month with a delegation from the Canadian chapter of the group Lawyers Without Borders, also told the radio station that a forensic autopsy of Kazemi’s body might be impossible since Iranian authorities injected it with chemicals to speed its decomposition.

I'd rather live nest door to the Manson Family than to step foot in the abomination that is the "Harb el Islam."

-- Les

I Love LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS

Bob G wrote:

Imagine there's no Muslims
It isn't hard to do
No damn Mohammad
And no Bin Laden too
Imagine all of Islam
Under a mushroom cloud,
You may say I'm lizard
But I'm not the only one
I hope one day you'll join us
So the world can sleep again.


BWAAAHAHAHAAAAA

It may very well come to that.

Just A Reminder

I have this Traveller fan-fiction project called Friends In High Places.

If Ditzie invites you over to play tea Party, say NO.

She insists on using mini-frag mines as a substitute for scones.

Another Comment On Islam

Camel Prophet Says

Muslim = Traitor
Muslim Immigrant = Infiltrator
Two Muslims = Jihad
Muslim Cleric = Parasite
Muslim With Money = Terror Financier
Muslim Without Money = Terrorist
Muslim Mosque = Terror Incitement Center
Muslim Heaven = Hell
Muslim Martyrdom = Ticket to Hell
Muslim Woman = Sperm Receptacle #1-4
Uppity Muslim Woman = Punching Bag
Muslim Veil = Human Dog Collar
Muslim Prayer = Joke
Muslim Prostration = Carpet Humping
Muslim Cult Founder = Pig-One
Muslim God = Mohammed's Cartoon
Muslim Koran = Mohammed's Fabulations
Muslim Sex = Rape
Muslim Economics = Plunder
Muslim Mathematics = Plunder Accounting
Muslim Foreign Policy = Aggression
Mohammed's Muslim Fantasy = Pedophilia
Muslim Beauty Model = Camel
Muslim Sufi = Hindu In A Hurry
Muslim Sunni = Shit-for-Brains
Muslim Shiite = Brains-for-Shit
Muslim Theology = Slave Contract
Muslim Fatwah = Slave Contract Interpretation
Muslim Fun = Murder
Muslim Success = High Body Count

And then there's Muslim Truth, otherwise known as bullshit.

A Description of Islamic Behavior

Quark in the comments section of Little Green Footballs said this:

We need to be careful here, this is another important kufir situation that the islamonazis will steal for their own, just like christian and jewish history and religions.
They are not only the world's greatest liars they are also the world's greatest thieves.
They steal life
They steal love
They steal hope
They steal morality
They steal peace
They steal diginity
They steal history
They steal goodness

They give war
They give fear
They give hate
They give death

Do I need to say more?

No.

Dealing With Religious Fanatics

Vodkapundit tells us how it shoud be done:

In the suburban American experience, "religious nuts" means people coming to your door to give you copies of "The Watchtower." Or in rare cases, people like Paul Hill, who assassinated an abortion doctor.

It's easy to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses. You can politely ask them to leave. Or you can answer the door holding a 12-gauge. Or there's my preferred method, which is to invite them in, sit them on the sofa, offer them a glass of lemonade, and return from the kitchen after having removed my pants. Do that, and they'll avoid your house in the exact same way a good Catholic avoids meat on Friday – with saintly fervor.

And Paul Hill? I don't mean to lessen his terrible crime, but he did seek his vengeance upon only one person, whom he considered guilty of murder. Frankly, I don't care what Hill's motivation was – he was a killer, and our justice system knows how to deal with killers. We try them, convict them, and jab them in the arm with poison. One killer, one victim, one tried and true way of dealing with him.

Absolutely God-Damned right!

But that isn't all.

Dread is for the weak; defiance is, perhaps, the American virtue.

I'm saddened for 10,000 children who lost a mommy or a daddy that day. I'm angered every time I see a picture of the altered New York skyline. I know a wearied irritation that this instinctively isolationist nation has been dragged into yet another world war. There is real, physical pain in my belly when that sound comes back, unbidden. You know the sound I mean – the thunk-splat of meat hitting pavement, of living people who chose to jump rather than be burned alive.

Americans are defiant, even regarding the manner of death chosen for us by others.

Now go on and let yourself relive that day, just a little.

Remember the first reports that "a small plane" had crashed into the World Trade Center. Firemen who didn't just run into a burning building, they ran up into collapsing skyscrapers. Grounded planes. The stock exchanges, closed. The doubt, the fear, the "what will they do next?" And the realization: Oh my God, we're at war. War in the Old Testament sense, when the barbarians came to rape and to slaughter.

Islam is rape and slaughter, robbery and murder.

Islam is barbarism given the veneer of divine sanction.

It is tempting to respond to the Jihad as if we were the Great Khan himself, to crush the muslims and listen to the wailing of their women. No, I just want them dead.

They want to die for the false god Allah. I just want them to die.

-- Les

A New Story From The Denniverse

Double Secret Probation, Part One

And Now, A Message From The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria

FNORD!!!!!

Thank you.

I Still Hate My Life

I put in one and an half hours writing a comment on AMIR TAHERI's editorial piece in the New York Post.

And then I lost the work in progress.

I'll try again later.

Bad Copy Editing Will Kill Me

In my previous post I wrote:

My life is still a mess, but any young lady (Ages 10 to 45) who has a white cat can reach me at my Yahoo mailing address: lesbates_traveller@yahoo.com

This has been corrected.

Dreams and Visions

I was dreaming that I was stuck in high school again, and that it was also [SHUDDER!!!] homecoming day. I used to hate the pep rallies. MY (lack of) GOD, those damned things were a [BLEEPING] waste of time. I actually preferred to be in class, any class, on any subject than to attend one of those things. Not even the presence on the stage of both of the young ladies who were the basis of the characters of the psychic sisters in Friends In High Places (they were cheerleaders and should know who they are by now) could ameliorate the ordeal.

And then my Mom (with whom I'm speaking again) calls me at 8 AM sharp (waking me up) and asks me if I want to go back to school.

According to Objectivist doctrine there should be no such thing as psychic phenomena.

But I keep seeing things in my sleep, and I once wrote to Art Bell about it:

In late August of (2001) I had a vision of people choking on toxic fumes in an unfamiliar office building followed by the collapse of the building. I originally dismissed it as just another weird dream, but then we all remember what happened on September 11.

(In January of 2002) I had a vision of workers tunneling underground to add space to one of Saddam Hussein's existing secret underground project sites, Saddam himself appeared in the dream to inspect the work . . . If I had to offer a predictive interpretation of these visions I would say that Iraq is going to hit us or it will be struck by us . . .

And I watched in fascination on Fox News and MSNBC as the Marines explored the tunnel system under Baghdad.

And then there was this:

What I find particularly disturbing is the dream I had (January 17, 2002). I had a vision of a white female cat wandering around in an unfamiliar bedroom "marking" (to use that charming euphemism) copies of LIBERTY magazine and clothing items I recognized to be mine. I am allergic to cats, none of the other residents of the house I live in has a white cat. If this is a predictive dream them someone owns a white cat, or worse, is symbolically represented by the white cat is about to walk into my life. As if my life wasn't already a mess.

I may have been wrong about the gender of the cat.

My life is still a mess, but any young lady (Ages 18 to 45) who has a white cat can reach me at my Yahoo mailing address: lesbates_traveller@yahoo.com

And Then...

I thought:

INVASION OF THE LESBIAN VAMPIRES!!

Okay, that should be enough...

A Movie I'm Sure Someone Would Like To See

PLANET OF THE LESBIAN VAMPIRES!!

There, that's my weirdness for today.