My Horoscope from THE ONION

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)

The worst of it all seems to be behind you, especially if you were serious about that whole "death would be a mercy at this point" thing.

I Hate My Life

My car broke down today.

I was going to visit the campus of one of the local county vocational schools as part of oning project to get my life back on track. And the fucking car would turn over but it wouldn't fire.

I hate my life.

Yes, I'm An Atheist, But This Is Still Funny

Bob G. in Little Green Footballs sez:

Jesus saves, Moses invests, Mohammad plunders.

On The Other Hand, The Photos Suck

THIS WEEK IN HISTORY
September 27, 1998

Independent Persecutor Kenneth Starr has been offered a job... at Hustler Magazine! "After a reading of the Starr Report I am impressed by the salacious and voyeuristic nature of your work, I am offering you a position as Advisor On Pornography for Hustler Magazine," Larry Flynt said in a letter to Starr. "The quality and quantity of material you have assembled in the Starr Report contains more pornographic references than those provided by Hustler Online services this month. I congratulate you for opening the doors of libraries and schools to pornographic literature. Those of us at Hustler need your assistance in extending the parameters of pornography to a wider community of adults. You have opened a new era in promoting explicit sexual material to the public." Last month Hustler Magazine had 44 graphic references to genitalia, but the Starr Report has over 50 graphic references to genitalia. Ken Starr has yet to accept the position at Hustler.

No comment.

Objectivist Answers Really Dumb Question

Wayne Dunn writes

QUESTION: "Do you think socialism was able to 'civilize' or 'tame' capitalism by 1914? Or do you think that capitalism did not need to be 'civilized' or 'tamed'."

First we must define our terms. Socialism is state ownership of the means of production. Capitalism is private ownership of the means of production.

To be civilized is to deal with others only through their consent, through persuasion rather than brute force. Civilized men understand that physical coercion is out of the question, that any relationship between individuals must be voluntary. An uncivilized man, by contrast, has no reservations whatsoever about applying a club to any perceived adversary's noggin. Force and intimidation characterize his actions; coercion is his modus operandi.

When I grow Up I Want To Be A Movie Director Just Like Sir Ridley

Sir Ridley Scott said in an interview:

To me, the smallness of a film is really the size of the characters in the movie. If you've got great characters, then you can say the film has no particular smallness attached to it. You can watch a $150 million piece of (garbage) and call it a big movie, but actually, it's a very tiny movie because it was driven by a tiny brain.

British Jurist Exercises Rational Judgement

Judge strips boy of damages

Clare Dyer
Thursday September 25, 2003
The Guardian

A judge has stripped a schoolboy of a £4,250 damages award after his school argued that it would be "madness" to compensate him for breaking his arm after falling off a swing as he played Superman during a sports day at Chillerton country primary school near Newport.
Ryan Simonds, from Rookley, Isle of Wight, was given damages by a county court judge in March for the injury.

But, overturning the ruling that the school was negligent, Mr Justice Gross said at London's high court that if "word got out" the boy had won his case "the probability is sports days and other pleasurable sporting events will simply not take place ... Such events could easily become uninsurable, or at prohibitive cost."

And the fifth horseman, Absurdity, fell off his mount, and there was much amusement.

He Wants To Do What?

Jerry Pournelle wants to scuttle the shuttle.

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?

The University of Texas Online Map Collection.

Speaking of Filmmaking

On 20 Sep 2003 12:08:49 -0700, [FNORD] (Tom R. Rastell) wrote in red.arts.movies.production:

My idea is to make a movie that´is so bad, that it will be the new definition of bad.

It should be so bad, that "Plan 9 from outer Space" is Oscar-material against my movie.

What do I need for a really bad movie ?

My reply was:

A subject that you are really and truly passionate about that no one
else could give a rat's posterior for.

Stock footage.

Speak down to the audience with badly written diologue and exposition.

Stock footage.

Cut corners on production values in a way that is clearly visible on
screen.

Did I also say stock footage, you can never have enough stock footage.

I have enough untalented amateur actors, a story that makes no sense at all but equipment for decent quality.

A well known but washed up actor or actress is often an asset. Should
he or she drop dead in mid-production you should replace him or her
with someone who isn't quite a proper double.

Above all, have fun doing it.

A British Filmmaker Rants and Rages

Martyn Finn writes:

What we want to see is a glamorous view of Britain, America does it, why shouldn’t we? Why is it that we always make films about the poverty of Britain, or the crime, or the hatred of Britain? The reason, it’s easy. It’s easy to do because it’s easy to show something as it really is. The difficult thing, the thing we don’t want to do is try and make something its not. We all know how fake Hollywood is, that’s because they make the effort to create the sets and lighting to make us believe what is not really there. So pull your finger out Britain and make something worth watching, not something to slit your wrists over.

I'll have to keep that in mind. Minnesota weather sucks worse than British weather.

Froggish Behavior

A member of a mailing list for Russian movie camera fans describes the behavior of the
"bereaved" relatives of a deceased French expatriate cinematographer:

I was looking through the material left over
after the estate of a French DP had been (for
want of a better word) plundered by his family.

In the "trash" pile there were some French "Cine
Techique Reguard" (spelling may be off for the
reasons later listed)-- and in one of them was
the article and picture about the 16mm gate and
magazine. I asked if I could have the magazines
since they were in the trash pile, and they were
ripped out of my hands. After a few moments of
angry discussion the family switched back from
French to English to inform me that I was no longer
welcome, please leave, and keep my hands off of
everything as I left.

He had not been on speaking terms with the rest
of the family, and had moved to the US twenty five
or thirty years ago. Within hours of his death in
Africa (on a shoot) the family had hired someone to
make sure his ex-wife did not "get away" with
anything, and within a month had flown over, packed
up almost everything and was preparing it to go back
to France,

In the back yard was a large pile of "trash" that
they were planning to burn before they found out
that we had a no-burn because of air quality order
in effect. (And they took that personally, too.)
After I asked about the magazines they picked up
the trash, putting it into bags.

And then they have the bloody nerve to call us barbaric.

So Islam Doesn't Prohibit Graven Images?

Hamas grafitti in a Palestinian mosque and the Pythonic commentary

Oh yeah...

Arrrrr...

Today Is "Talk Like A Pirate" Day

Or in the various Traveller universes, talk like an "ethically challenged merchant" day.

Arrrrr...

What Does Bin Laden Want?

Nothing.

Donald Sensing writes:

I see no evidence that bin Laden has ever had any plan except violence itself, committing it where he could, when he could. He commits violence against Western targets with no vision apparent beyond the violence. He has no idea of how to constitute a true nation state. He is a man whose vision extends no further than more fighting, which is to say, he has no vision at all.

This should not be a surprise since the Islam and the Koran are simply the collected mouth droppings of a thief, murderer, and rapist whose goals were the acquisition of power, plunder, and what our urban underclass commonly calls "booty."

Linux Developer Gets Laid

Philadelphia, PA - In news that is sure to excite the Linux community, long time Linux developer Todd Stanton got laid.

An Interesting Website

The Scampton Veterinary Optician

Which has an interesting phrasebook page, and a collection of short and strange films.

Think Of It As Islam In Action

Iranian Officials Raped Reporter, Then Killed Her

A Toronto-based lawyer, Hamid Mojtahedi, told Radio Farda, the American-funded radio station beamed into Iran, that Kazemi was raped by intelligence agents who worked with Tehran prosecutor Said Mortazavi, a man referred to as the “Butcher of the Press” by Iranian dissidents.

Mr. Mojtahedi, who traveled to Iran last month with a delegation from the Canadian chapter of the group Lawyers Without Borders, also told the radio station that a forensic autopsy of Kazemi’s body might be impossible since Iranian authorities injected it with chemicals to speed its decomposition.

I'd rather live nest door to the Manson Family than to step foot in the abomination that is the "Harb el Islam."

-- Les

I Love LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS

Bob G wrote:

Imagine there's no Muslims
It isn't hard to do
No damn Mohammad
And no Bin Laden too
Imagine all of Islam
Under a mushroom cloud,
You may say I'm lizard
But I'm not the only one
I hope one day you'll join us
So the world can sleep again.


BWAAAHAHAHAAAAA

It may very well come to that.

Just A Reminder

I have this Traveller fan-fiction project called Friends In High Places.

If Ditzie invites you over to play tea Party, say NO.

She insists on using mini-frag mines as a substitute for scones.