Text I Decided To Not Use

Francis shouted.

“Don’t you want the ultimate software package?”

“No.” I replied. “Perhaps you should call Bill Gates at Microsoft or whoever is in charge at Apple now that Steve Jobs is deceased. Or you could send a letter.”

Francis stared at me with a blank expression on his face.

Mystifying. Isn't it?

Here's more text:

“Have you given thought to masturbation?” I replied. “It’s a much safer form of sexual gratification.”

Miss Buckley was visibly shocked.

Sex, computers, what else?